I just read my last post. Sounded kind of sad. It was truly hard. Still is sort of. The best part is I signed up for NaNoWriMo just before November 1st and I can proudly say I completed it last night. Yah for me! It's a romance, sensual romance. I'm an erotic romance writer but it's written under my sensual romance name so she wanted to keep it a little lighter. But, the point is, me the person behind both names actually sat down and wrote 50,149 words in less than 30 days. Before you jump all over me I know that it will take tons of editing, like for months or longer. The story isn't complete yet, but I know I will write at it like I did through this whole month.
Yes, it's been a tough month. That's exactly why I challenged myself to sign up to do this personal challenge. I am beginning a new life alone. What do I mean beginning? I've been living alone for over three years, but still shared my house with who used to be my life partner, my spouse. So, leaving only meant I was
living alone for real now. It's easier to live alone on your own than to live in a house with someone and still be alone. So, I knew this first month was going to be difficult in it's own sense and I took on Nano for that reason. It was a pleasant distraction and it got me back to writing. I developed a brand new hero and heroine and a brand new story. At first I couldn't get into the romance part. Sure, write a romance without getting into romance. I found my story stayed away from romance in the beginning, and my heroine had the same feelings as I did and wasn't ready for a relationship. In fact, she still isn't sure. But, I did manage to create these two characters and they WILL end up together. Hear that you two? Of course I'm following their lead and when it's all over, maybe it won't even be a romance novel. My own feelings have a lot to do with this story and I'm trying to separate myself from them. I know I can do it because I was really getting into the story and the romance part of it after all. It's nearly finished and I am still the boss, sort of.
My own life? I don't know where it's going as well as I know where theirs is going. I'm taking one day at a time, and being back to doing what I love helps me along the way as it is my biggest distraction right now. One day I'll be a whole person again and I'll be able to feel the sun upon my face and smile. It is a feeling of loss right now and a feeling like I've given up. I know I haven't given up, I've actually begun again. In time, my friends. For now I do what I can to survive and go on. Nano says to save editing for December. So at least now I know my December will be filled with distractions. Then comes January, a new year. Hopefully, it will be an acceptable new life too. Even if it is alone. Stay tuned, for I'm coming back to life slowly but surely.Image from glitter-graphics.com
